a calling

some people hear God's call at once for their whole lives, knowing they will serve God as a teacher or a missionary, a soldier or a mail carrier. 

I don't think that's the case in my life.

I've never been one to dream of my future. as I've mentioned previously, I had never imagined my wedding day until a few months before it happened, caught in the thick of planning and tulle. as a child, I had no idea what i wanted to be when I grew up, often finding myself lost in a new idea, just to have that one beat out by the next, best thing. 

after all these years spent thinking that my life is pointless, that I'm not doing anything with my time because I'm not pursuing a passion outside the home, I'm done. believing those lies is not only hurtful to myself, but also to my daughter. I don't want her to see these lies in her mother's life.

I have a purpose. it might look different each year. it might change with the rolling tide. but it's there.

right now? I'm mothering a six month old. I'm praying for my husband. I'm heading up a bible study out of my living room + stepping out of my comfort zone to mentor some lady students in my community while desperately seeking a mentor of my own. I'm trying to make my life mean something, both online + off. 

I don't think God has called me to one thing for my life. I don't pretend to understand His plan today + I doubt I'll be any more in the know tomorrow, but it seems as though He's got me working on my adaptation skills. 

He wants to use different parts of me + my story to make much of Him in whichever space I find myself. 

I'll go with it until He gives me the next, best thing.

what has God called you to in your life?